South Asian Heritage Month

Written by Noreen, Community Engagement Lead

South Asian Heritage Month is held from 18th July to 17th August each year. The South Asian countries have a rich cultural legacy that influences and integrates with many other cultures and communities around the world, and we have a large diaspora in Bradford.

This year the theme ‘Stories to Tell‘ is all about celebrating the stories that make up this diverse and vibrant community.

Our South Asian colleagues at The Cellar Trust will share their stories over the course of the month. This enables people of South Asian heritage to honour their culture, as well as reclaim their history and identity by sharing their own experiences.

Noreen, our Community Engagement Lead kicks off #StoriesToTell by sharing her experiences of growing up in Bradford with her family following her father’s arrival from Pakistan and the journey of integrating into British society. A moving account with some lovely references to the culture and reference points of the UK in the 80’s and 90’s.

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My dad was just a teenager when he arrived in Bradford in the 1970s. With the support of extended family, he found work, learnt the language, and a few years later returned to Pakistan to marry my mum. I was born in the 80s, the second girl in a house of five children. We found ourselves living in the heart of BD3, a home away from home, with the security of an emerging Pakistani population. Rows upon rows of terraced houses and narrow back streets formed a neighbourhood for young South Asian families to find a community in an alien land, and some of my happiest memories are from playing with marbles and riding bikes on those back streets. Mental health wasn’t spoken about in those days, but with a backdrop of economic hardship, racism and a longing to return home, my parents and many like them found support and comfort in others who led similar lives.

I was an 80s child and a 90s teenager. Popular culture and entertainment shaped my childhood and provided a melting pot of Eastern and Western influence. The weekly Bollywood movie, on VHS, chosen from a huge selection at the local video store, provided my mum with much needed entertainment in a language that she understood. It also went a long way towards cementing my own language skills, and I can still quote full scenes from classic 80s Bollywood movies. When that was done, we’d sit down to the weekly episodes of Dallas and Dynasty, providing a glitzy and glamorous escape, a world away from our humble lives. Later, in our new house and growing up with three boisterous brothers, I’d have to endure hours of WWF wrestling. When I managed to get my hands on the remote I’d indulge in an episode of Neighbours or Home and Away, before quickly being trumped by my dad or grandma who preferred a Pakistani drama, again borrowed from the local video store. Seeing the first episode of Goodness Gracious Me on mainstream telly somehow validated my Asian roots and made me think that perhaps my Pakistaniness wasn’t so embarrassing after all. Music was an eclectic mix ranging from Take That and Oasis, to Vital Signs, Nusret Fateh Ali Khan, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and gangster rap! We soaked it all up, a little bit of everything thrown into the mix to shape the growing minds of impressionable young British Pakistani kids.

My clothes were all homemade and my jumpers were knitted by my gran. I was mortified at the thought of starting high school and having to wear a maxi skirt that my mum had stitched herself. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment when I managed to convince my parents to buy me my first pair of jeans, just in time for the year 8 leavers party. Little did I know then that as an adult I’d be longing for opportunities to wear shalwar kameez to celebrate my beautiful heritage and to feel connected to my roots.

1992 was a memorable year for many reasons but the one occasion that stood out was the men’s cricket world cup final: Pakistan vs England, or our homeland vs our new homeland. My father’s unwavering support of the Pakistani team no doubt influenced us all, and their victory that year started our love affair with the sport. We were allowed a day off school that day and the celebrations and rewatching of the final continued for years to come. That remains one of the most joyous memories of childhood – we really saw the Pakistani way of celebrating and felt a connection with our roots like never before!

Living in Bradford and being of South Asian heritage brings a unique sense of community. The way our ancestors lived in Pakistan has continued through our lives here. Strong ties have been maintained with extended family – there were many a trip down to Rochdale to visit our second cousins. They weren’t thought of as second cousins though, they were just our cousins, because in Pakistani culture everyone is your cousin, or your aunty, or your uncle. You treat all elders with the same respect that you would your own blood relatives, whether you’re meeting them for the first time, or you have spent a lifetime with them. Islamic culture brings with it brother and sisterhood, a trust that you can turn to your sister in Islam and have a shared understanding of life. Mental health is supported though family ties, and as someone of South Asian heritage that has blended into the British way of life, mental health conversations are now more open and accepted. Some elders who are the same age as my parents and grandparents are now recognising their own mental health struggles as well as those of their children and grandchildren.

As my own children navigate adolescence, I lament at the loss of their mother tongue and am forever overcome with guilt for not working harder as a parent to pass on my language. As an established British Pakistani community, and with the huge global impact of social media, life feels even more like a big pot of biryani – chuck everything in and hope for the best! As we embrace the growing diversity of Bradford and beyond, I hope that my children will hold onto their dupatta, learn to make a mean nihari, and maybe even sit down one day and watch a Bollywood movie with their mum and dad.

For full details of South Asian Heritage Month please visit southasianheritage.org.uk

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week

Monday 1 – Sunday 7 May 2023

Written by Katie, Touchstone

What is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week?

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week is a week-long campaign dedicated to talking about mental health problems before, during and after pregnancy.

The week is all about:

• raising public and professional awareness of perinatal mental health problems
• advocating for women and families impacted by it
• changing attitudes
• helping families access the information, care and support they need to recover.

Why is raising awareness so important?

• Around 1 in 5 women experience mental health concerns during pregnancy and the 1st year of parenthood.
• 70% will hide or underplay their illness
• Perinatal mental health problems can have a long-term impact on a woman’s self-esteem and relationships with partners and family members.
• Perinatal mental health problems can have an adverse impact on the interaction between a mother and her baby, affecting the child’s emotional, social and cognitive development.
• Maternal suicide is the leading cause of direct pregnancy related death in the 1st year following birth
• Currently, large numbers of women are not receiving the support they need.

How are Touchstone getting involved?

Touchstone are proud to be one of the partner organisations for Safe Spaces, this service is led by mental health charities The Cellar Trust and Mind in Bradford. Safe Spaces offers same-day crisis support for anyone aged seven and over from Bradford District and Craven who need urgent help with their emotional and mental wellbeing.  This could include experiencing severe anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, intense depression or feelings of disassociation.

For more information on Safe Spaces and how to make a referral please check the Healthy Minds website.

In my new role as the Perinatal Lead, I am responsible for raising awareness of perinatal mental health across the partnership to ensure that the needs of parents and families who access Safe Spaces are met during times of crisis in their lives and their voices are truly heard.  Safe Spaces workers will navigate the current crisis while prioritising the perinatal mental health needs of women and families, and proactively encourage them to seek specialist help.

Another important part of my role is to raise awareness of perinatal mental health amongst other professionals who work across the city.  Everyone who comes into contact with women before, during or after pregnancy has the opportunity to provide mental health support. I have been busy connecting with parent and family facing organisations and groups, such as ‘play and stay’ and breastfeeding support groups. Lack of social support and fear of stigma are two contributing factors that prevent women from receiving adequate care for perinatal mental illness.

Therefore it is vital that new and expectant parents have the opportunity to meet with their peers and feel safe and comfortable to talk about what they are experiencing and how this is impacting their mental health and wellbeing. I have been helping groups to facilitate conversations around perinatal mental health, encouraging parents to seek expert help if needed, providing up to date information on specialist services. There are some fabulous perinatal support services in Bradford including, Bradford Doulas, HomeStart, Roshni Ghar, Family Action perinatal support service and Little Minds Matter.

I am an active member of the Perinatal and Infant Mental Health Steering group (set up by Act as One, Bradford District and Craven Health and Care Partnership) which aims to improve experiences and outcomes of the pregnancy and birth journey across Bradford District and Craven.

The group has involvement of many professionals across the city including midwifes and health visitors. This Maternal Mental Awareness Week we have come together to plan a week of activities to raise public and professional awareness of perinatal mental health, with a focus across Bradford and Airedale hospitals. Members of the steering group have planned ‘tea and trolley talks’ across the maternity units and information stalls around the hospitals for example.

In the UK, we take it for granted that all women will receive the support they need to look after their own physical health and that of their babies during pregnancy and the first year after birth. Across the week we will promote for the mental health of all women to be monitored, discussed and treated in the same way as her physical health during this crucial time. It is our aim is to help reduce stigma, spread good practice and help parents and families impacted by perinatal mental health problems to feel seen, heard and supported.

Where can I get support?

You can find information about perinatal mental health problems, including possible causes, treatments and support options on the Mind and Healthy Minds websites:

Perinatal and postnatal mental health – Mind

Healthy Minds

Sharing trauma for mental health

Written by Yasmeen, Senior Support Worker, The Cellar Trust

As mental illness is on the rise and the awareness is spreading far and wide, I have taken this opportunity to express my battle with mental illness. In 2014 I had a nervous breakdown, the sheer pressure of keeping up the pretence of being the perfect wife, mother, daughter and sibling all the while knowing what had happened to me when I was a child.

I was sexually molested at the age of 8. My abuser was my first cousin, 10 years older than me. Someone who had gained everyone’s trust and respect. I was extremely afraid of him, I couldn’t escape him. From being a happy active child, I became withdrawn. He intimidated me for years, the fear of being disowned by my family if I shared anything with them kept me silent. He would show me knives in passing. He would tell me I am worthless, who would believe me?

Growing up in a densely populated Pakistani community was not so easy. Family gatherings meant my abuser was present, the constant reminder of what he put me through made me feel bitter, on the other hand I was expected to mingle with him and his family as though no abuse had taken place.

It took me just over 30 years to expose my abuser, I finally had the inner strength to speak out. My daughter was approaching 8, I was becoming erratic with overprotecting her. I was in constant fear of my abuser, in case he saw my daughter. I would avoid family gatherings or not take my daughter with me. For all the years I remained silent I felt dirty, I felt it was my fault, I felt ashamed, and I truly believed my immediate family will feel ashamed resulting in disowning me. In fact, the opposite happened, my mum, who is the most important person in my life believed me. The overwhelming feeling of relief gave me more strength. She finally understood why I behaved oddly in the presence of my abuser.

Since the day I exposed him, my confidence has come back. I have gained immense confidence. I broke my silence for my daughter and for the vulnerable people out there who have been abused.

It took me over 30 years to break my silence, the mental suffering was not worth it. If you are in a similar situation to me, please don’t suffer in silence as this is detrimental to your mental health and you deserve so much better. Please reach out to someone you trust and seek support

For further help and support:

Bradford Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Survivors Service – Supporting women and girls who have experienced sexual violence at any time in their lives.

Ben’s place at Survivors West Yorkshire – Specialise support for men who have suffered sexual abuse.

Bradford Survive and Thrive – A Family Action and WomenCentre partnership providing early intervention and prevention, specialist work with children and young people, recovery and confidence building and emotional support.

Anah Project – Experienced and confidential support service for BAME women fleeing any form of abuse.

Men Reaching Out – Support all men with any aspect of male domestic abuse. They also have support available to help male victims from South Asian backgrounds.

Rape Crisis national helpline is open every day of the year 24 hours a day. Call free on 0808 500 222. A charity working to end sexual violence and abuse.

Trust Therapies – The Cellar Trust’s counselling and therapy service, to help individuals explore and cope with a range of emotional challenges.